Lessons From a Happy Heart
Ladies. I hope your summer has been a good one. I hope that through each day, through every valley and every mountain, you’ve learned a little more about yourself.
I’m praying that your journey has been a good one and that your soul deepens as the world changes around you.
I know it has been a minute, but there are a few things that I would like to share with you.
This summer has been a very important one for me. Not only for my professional career but for my heart and soul as well. I’ve met a lot of amazing women who have shared a few bits of advice that have changed the way I see the world. And now I’d like to share them with you.
The world is going to tell you time again that you want too much, that if you have big dreams you are somehow overreaching. Do me a favor and keep your standards high. I know we hear this a lot as women. But it’s true. It is so so so true. We have to know our worth, we have to add tax to it and not settle for anything less than that. You have to be okay with the fact that sometimes, you are the only one who will see your vision. And that is okay. Don’t sell yourself short.
Don’t tear down other women with hopes that it will build you up. It won’t. You are how you treat people. You want to be remembered as the one who loved on people instead of the one who constantly talked about people. This is a very important point. I say this because throughout my life, there have been moments where I wasn’t always the nicest. But in those same moments, it wasn’t that I disliked other people.The real issue was that I hadn’t gotten to the point where I really liked myself. A really good friend of mine tells me constantly that no matter how unhappy and nasty people are to you, you have to love them anyway. Something I have come to understand since I’ve been in college is that people can only give you what they have to give. What I mean is that you can’t expect a full glass from someone who is only half full. Now that doesn’t mean let people use and abuse your heart. In all actuality it means the complete opposite. Meet people where they are and love yourself regardless of their perceptions of you.
Don’t let anyone rush you into anything but don’t let anyone waste your time either. Part of life is going through this sort of forever journey of understanding love and relationships. What I want to stress to you is to stop trying to change people who show you who they are. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. Lauryn Hill said a few years ago that “We don’t know what love is because when a person stops stimulating us, we stop loving them.” And in many ways I find that to be true. If you take anything away from this bullet point, I hope that it is this: It is not your job to convince anybody that you are worth being loved. Or respected. Or appreciated. That’s not your job. Your job is to be good to people and to learn a little bit from each person that enters the realm of your heart. But honestly, life is just getting started. Fall in love with yourself first. You’ll know when someone is worth your time. Bae’s are fun but you won’t die without one lol
Don’t wallow in your bad days. If you keep up with Soledad O’Brien, she talks a lot about getting through tough moments in the professional world but also in life. She says the best thing to do is to give yourself 24 hours to feel. To be angry, to cry, to eat ice cream, to yell and scream. But then you have to get up and keep going. Life is unpredictable. But you aren’t handed anything you can’t bounce back from. Take a day to sort out your emotions, then come up with a plan to make the next day better. You always have the power, even when it doesn’t feel like it.
Lastly, and this is probably the most important. Be yourself. Your most genuine, raw and authentic you. You don’t need to conform. You don’t need to compete. You don’t need to be anything that doesn’t align with who you are as a person. You can just be you. And that is enough.
Be in peace not in pieces. Stay strong!