The Day I Woke Up Healed

I want to have a serious conversation with you guys. I don't usually share super intimate moments about things that I've been through or struggles I've overcome but I want to tell you a bit of a story to show you what the power of God can do. The first semester of my sophomore year I set out on a mission to love myself.

All of me.

The good. The bad. The bratty.

The impatient. The sad. The angry.

All. Of. It.

Let tell yall that, that process is nothing to sneeze at. My heart hurt. It ached. And some days I was so angry, that I removed myself from situations simply because they hinted at being negative to my growth.

I wrote. I sat in Taylor's room venting and found a secret meeting spot to go to when my heart got too heavy that I needed someone to listen to me.

I isolated. I disconnected. And it was rough but I grew.

I dug deep. So so so so deep that I found parts of myself that I hadn't known in a while. And little by little, God worked on me and one day I woke up and felt.........healed.

Now I'm not saying I magically awoke to my problems being solved. That would be selling you a dream. What I mean is that one day I woke up and my heart was a little stronger. My mind was a little wiser. And my soul was ready to try again.

The second semester of my sophomore year was the best. The absolute best. I laughed again. I went to parties and actually enjoyed being in the moment I EVEN STARTED TALKING TO BOYS AGAIN CAUSE LOOK.

What I am learning now is that many people had no idea my heart was heavy all those months. Because I got so good at being strong by day and weak by night. And I want you to understand what this means.

I say all of this to say that sometimes God assigns you mountains simply to show others they can be moved. Now I'm no miracle worker but I have been through enough to know that it is in that moment when you're at your lowest that you find the strongest, most incredible parts of yourself.

Wow. Think about that. I read a quote yesterday that essentially said that in order to make it to the brilliance, you have to soldier through the chaos. And then it happens... Clarity.

I want you all to know that today Gabby is happy. Gabby is strong, eager and excited to be in this place. But most importantly, Gabby forgives.

I'm happy. Not because any one person made it so. I'm happy because all of those nights of trying to figure my heart out, I was handcrafting in my own true sense of happiness. And for that I am forever grateful.

From this, I want you to know that you are so powerful. I want you believe that when you are put in a tough situation you are being blessed with an opportunity to become the best version of you. I'm not sure what type of higher power you believe in. But just know that there is someone helping you a long the way.

You are never. Ever. Alone.

Stay strong.